Answer to Your Supplication is Delayed for a Reason‏

There is an interesting situation that confuses many: the believer who is affliced with a calamity, and who then invokes Allah constantly, yet sees no signs of an answer to his prayers. Then when he comes near to the point of hopelessness, the true worth of his heart is found out. If he is pleased with what Allah (swt) has decreed for him, without losing hope of Allah's Favor, then in most situations it is at this point that such a person's supplications are answered, answered because his test is over: his faith has shined through and the Devil has been defeated. So it is at the time of near hopelessness that the worth of man is judged. This meaning is alluded to in the saying of Allah:

"Or think that you will enter Paradise without such (trials) as came to those who passed away before you? They were afflicted with severe poverty and ailments and were so shaken that even the Messenger (pbuh) and those who believed along with him said:"When (will come) the Help of Allah?" Yes! Certainly, the Help of Allah is near!" (Qur'an 2:214)

After Ya'qub (as) lost his son, much time elapsed, yet he never lost hope of relief. Instead of relief, another of his sons was then taken away, and even then he did not lose hope of Allah's Favor and Mercy:

"So patience is most fitting (for me). It may be that Allah will bring them all (back) to me, Truly He! Only He is All-Knowing All Wise". (Qur'an 12:83)

And similar were the words and sentiments of Zakariyyah (as):

"And I have never been unblest in my invocation to You, O my Lord!" (Qur'an 19:4)

Never, therefore, should one feel that too much time has passed by without his supplication being answered. One should realize that, whenever one is tested with hardship, one's mettle and faith are being tested. To pass such a test, one muct drive away the whispers of the Devil and then turn for help to the Most-Merciful, the Most-Generous the Most-Wise.

- Gems and Jewels, by Abdul Malik Mujahid.

Dealing with 'Attention Seeking Behavior'

Attention seeking behavior is often also about power. When your child engages in such kind of behavior, they are also implying that they, in that particular situation, have power in their hands, and there is little you can do about it.

Simply changing your reaction to such behavior can help nip it in the bud and also show them that you are in charge. Instead of giving them what they want, i.e. attention, minimising your reaction will get results.

Whenever possible, distract yourself and your child with another activity or simply walk away and let them deal with the consequences of their behavior.

In some situations, not intervening and letting the third party involved (in cases where they are in someone else's territory or comfort zone) deal with the situation themselves can work. Most of us often believe that we are always responsible for our childrens behavior and it is a reflection of our parenting. When your child is old enough to understand the consequences of his/her actions, it often doesn't require any intervention. The lesser attention you give, the easier it is to get them back on track.

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Profound Saying of Ibn Qayyim (r)

Ibn Qayyim (r) said: "When the slave wakes up as the night encloses upon him and his only concern is Allah and how to please and obey Him, then Allah takes upon Him to fulfill all of his needs and remove from him all that causes him anxiety. Allah also makes his heart free to love Him only, his tongue free to remember Him only and his body free to serve Him only.

However, when a slave of Allah wakes up when the night encloses upon him and his main concern is the world, Allah will make him bear the burdens of it's anxiety, grief and hardships. Allah will entrust him to his own self and He will make his heart busy, stealing from it His love since it will be preoccupied with love for creation. Allah will keep his tongue from His remembrance because it will be engaged with His creation; his body will be kept from obedience since it will be enslaved by its desires and services. And he will toil like a beast of burden toils in the service of another. And all who turn away from the worship, obedience and love of Allah, will be put into trial with the worship, service and love for creation."

Allah (the Exalted) says:

"And whosoever turns away (blinds himself) fromt he remembrance of the Most Gracious (Allah) (i.e. this Qur'an and worship of Allah), we appoint for him Shaitan to be a Qarin (an intimate companion) to him. (Qur'an 43:36)

Ibn Qayyim continues to say: "Seek out your heart in three situations:
-When you are listening to the Qur'an
-When you are part of a gathering of remembrance
-When you are alone and away from the world and it's distractions.

If you cannot find your heart in these three situations, then ask Allah to bestow upon you a heart, for indeed you are bereft of one."

The Seven Foundations

The life of a Muslim must stand on seven foundations:

1. Adherence to Allah's Book

2. Following the way of Allah's Messenger (pbuh)

3. Eating that which is lawful

4. Refraining from harming others

5. Staying away from sins

6. Repenting frequently &

7. Fulfilling the rights of others.

The Most Difficult Deeds

Ali (ra) said: "Amongs deeds, there are four that are most difficult to adorn oneself with:

1. Forgiveness when angry

2. Generosity in hard times

3. Chastity when alone &

4. Speaking the truth to the one that fears it. "

Death - Are You Prepared?

Hasan (ra) said, "No day passes without the Angel of Death looking upon people's faces, studying them five times, and those he finds engaged in merriment or committing sins, he exclaims dissapprovingly: "Poor, pitiable slave who is heedless of what is intended for him (death). Do as you please, for indeed I have for you a wink (of the eye) by which I will cut off your aorta."