March 12, 2009

Thought Processing…

Last night after much contemplation I decided to do what I usually wouldn’t. Many a times opportunities such as these have arisen in the past but I never mustered the courage to actually be a part of it all. But this time I told myself that things will be different and unless I let myself experience it I won’t be able to say whether it was a good or bad idea. It might sound like what I did was some mammoth task and when I do reveal what it was it might seem trivial to some of you but the fact that I haven’t been the type of person who is known to do something like this, makes it a big deal – at least for me!

I attended a ladies only dinner organized by the members of a forum I frequent and even though I spoke regularly with many of the lovely girls in cyber space, it was the first time I actually ‘met’ them in person. It was a great event and I thoroughly enjoyed myself. I was always nervous about going to such gatherings because there’s always the slight fear of whether you will ‘click’ as easily in real life as you do online. And let’s face it we tend to come out of our shells much quicker and easier when we’re sitting in the comfort of our home as opposed to having a face to face conversation with someone.

I think given the circumstances, I did pretty well - if I should say so myself! I even surprised myself a few times by cracking a few jokes (which actually made people laugh!) and also by initiating conversations, something I rarely do at a first meeting with someone. People who’ve known me for a while would find this absurd, because I can be quite a chatter-box but when it comes to treading on unfamiliar territory, I do have my initial reservations.

Getting together with like minded and similar aged people makes such a huge difference to the usual monotone life us moms tend to lead. We are so engrossed in our children and the whole job of making sure everything is running smoothly we let ourselves take a back seat. My brain is in dire need of some stimulation! Sitting down at that table last night and enjoying a warm meal without any interruptions felt amazing. It’s funny how we take so many things for granted but when we become parents we learn to be ever grateful for those little things that didn’t really matter in the past.

I sometimes miss the days when I led a carefree life, not thinking about anything or anyone else but myself. Every stage of our life we go through leaves us yearning for what we’ve left behind but what I’ve learnt is that instead of cribbing over what we don’t have it’s best to close that chapter on a happy note and move on and try to find contentment in what we have in this point in time. Yes being single was fun, but having a soul mate & being able to experience motherhood is a blessing from above and I wouldn't trade it for anything else.

This outing for me was like a breath of fresh air. Going away for those couple of hours and indulging in something I truly missed was sheer bliss. At one point I just sat there looking around the room and watched everyone indulge in conversation and the whole atmosphere felt so light and rejuvenating. When I got back home last night, I had renewed energy and the ‘oh! so boring’ routine didn’t seem so boring anymore. I was able to look at things in a different light and appreciate what I’ve been blessed with. Sometimes it so happens that you get engulfed by what you do day in and out it begins to feel burdensome. Little time-outs such as these help you refresh your mind & makes things seem so much better than before!

I thank Allah for everything he has bestowed upon me and ask Him for forgiveness for whining about the things that I should be grateful for. I thank Him alone for giving me this opportunity to re-assess my thoughts and helping me in bringing back the happiness and fulfillment I found in the little things I achieve everyday.

1 comment:

  1. As'salaam'alaykum dear ssiter

    I am having a "mommy" day and reading your post brought tears to my eyes, just to read that someone, somewhere KNOWS I am feeling.