August 08, 2008

My Random Thoughts...

Assalamu Alaykum wa Rahmatullaahi wa Barakatuhu,
(May the Peace, Mercy and Blessings of Allah be upon you)

I always wondered what it would be like to be a nurture a child and give them all you have. I never really understood the true meaning of being a mother until I gave birth to my first child in 2005. It was a life changing moment and I came to realise that being a mother wasn't merely caring for the physical needs of a little being but was something much deeper.

Over the years I've overcome many hurdles and have had my fair share of achievements and failures. Parenting is a learned skill, and it takes time to get the 'hang' of things and feel confident in what you are doing and where you are headed. Not to mention that the ocean of knowledge and conflicting remarks/comments thrown at you makes it harder for you to see clearly. It' still very early, I have a long way to go, a challenging future awaits me and I am keen on continuing on this beautiful journey called motherhood.

I created this blog so I could let the thoughts flow out of me and share it with people around me. It's always nice to hear what someone else thinks of a situation you are faced with, as they usually tend to look at it from outside the circle and see the things that you have missed out and it gives you a broader understanding and helps you make a much better well informed decision.

As a practicing Muslim living in the west, trying to balance between religion and western lifestyle is a challenge faced by all. Raising children in the west is a messy affair. It is easy to get drawn into the realm of things and move towards extremes. In order to make sure we have the right tools it is a requirement that parents themselves should have a strong Muslim identity. Only then can we move towards imparting the essentials and helping our children develop their identity - as a muslim in the west. This realisation of being 'different' shouldn't be done in a way as to create hostility towards the western society as a whole but to teach them to intergrate without letting go of who they are and what they represent. Being a responsible individual first, with ideals and working towards achieving your goal and not losing sight of your ultimate abode - Jannah.

In order for you to have a lasting impact on your childs mind, it is important for you to have a healthy parent-child relationship. Your child should feel secure and content in your company and should be able to speak his mind without having any fears. A good parent-child relationship comprises of love and respect towards each other. To establish this bond, is the sole responsibility of the parent and it can be done only by giving their children unconditional love, which then generates in children love, respect and obedience for the parents. I'd like to stress on the importance of expressing this to your child at every available opportunity. Merely loving your child but not letting them know of it is not the way to go. Children desperately need our acceptance and love. You need to embrace them and give them your complete attention despite your busy schedules. They need to feel important and wanted. They need to know that we are there to share life with them and help them to be happy with the unique little person they are. The best way to get them to do something is by doing it ourselves. As goes the age old saying - practice what you preach! You will realise that by just mirroring the behavior that you expect from them is enough to teach them to do the same.

The nature of this unconditional love does not mean continuously pampering the child and giving in to all their wishes. Love is rather a deep concern for the well-being and happiness of the child which manifests itself in softness when softness is needed and in firmness when firmness is needed. They need to learn to deal with dissapointments and to obey their parents and respect their decisions. The world isn't a bed of roses, and in order to make them tough enough to put up with the challenges they are faced with they need to be 'trained' to overcome their emotions and act rationally. It is important for us to be in control of our emotions and avoid any negative emotions. Children are much more aware of their parents real feelings and if a parent has revengful thoughts towards them, they are likely to react negatively to what the parent is telling them.

1 comment:

  1. Mashallah Nabeela..Allah has blessed u and made u move very beautifully!!! What did u really do???